I went out to a bar last night with some friends. Everyone was drinking, of course. I wasn't. And it was fine! I thought it would feel very strange to not be drinking, while others are taking shots, but it really wasn't. I had a couple diet cokes.
It was great that I was still myself and not bored, shy, boring or what have you.
A friend even said "Drunk Celina is just like Sober Celina!". That was nice to hear. Its nice to realize that I act silly and funny (and slightly stupid) even when i am out with drinks and sober. I can still be myself because that silly girl is still me.
Even before we went out, I was home and singing on the karaoke machine. By myself. Which I have never done home alone, unless I was drinking. Lower inhibitions, I guess. But it was a happy surprise that I was even able to throw out some off-key notes and not care if the neighbors could hear me (yikes! Poor neighbors).
Its interesting to think that I have used alcohol as a crutch to do things I wouldn't normally feel comfortable doing if not drinking. But who the hell cares if I sing too loud or off key or if I talk to someone at a bar I recognize from the gym. I shouldnt let my insecurities and inhibitions rule me. I shouldnt "need" a drink to feel comfortable in a room full of people I don't know.
Good job Sober Celina. You're allright!
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